Monday, December 08, 2008
Attention please
I think that's where my problem lies in. I need attention. Not just any attention from anyone. But attention from a decent, handsome, young and caring chap. And perhaps since in my little universe now, there seems to be such a candidate, I have been yearning for his attention. It seems to play rather well at times, given that he has a caring and generous character and he is basically a hao-hao xian-sheng.
Argh. Ok I wouldn't deny the fact that I like him. I am fond of him. His presence in office makes me a little excited. Noooooo I can't allow that to happen. I can't develop feelings for someone who doesn't share the same faith. This frustrates me, but in the long-run... think LONG-RUN, it is important. Short-term feelings now must not be acknowledged. Yet, I still find myself wanting his attention and loving it. I'm sorry Lord... I am so weak in my emotions. But there's just heaps of nice guys out there who aren't believers. What do I do??? Keep rejecting them?
If I am to settle down, Lord you must provide me the one whom you have prepared. I always wonder why the guys outside are so much more normal than the guys in the churchlife...
Enough of hah-hao xian-sheng. I'll try my best to just see him as a colleague and friend. Any nice-ness or jokes I shall take it as just being him. Even if it seems he's being really nice or sweet to me, I must remember it's all out of his goodwill and kindness. NOTHING ELSE.
Sigh. I'm such a love-fool.
Argh. Ok I wouldn't deny the fact that I like him. I am fond of him. His presence in office makes me a little excited. Noooooo I can't allow that to happen. I can't develop feelings for someone who doesn't share the same faith. This frustrates me, but in the long-run... think LONG-RUN, it is important. Short-term feelings now must not be acknowledged. Yet, I still find myself wanting his attention and loving it. I'm sorry Lord... I am so weak in my emotions. But there's just heaps of nice guys out there who aren't believers. What do I do??? Keep rejecting them?
If I am to settle down, Lord you must provide me the one whom you have prepared. I always wonder why the guys outside are so much more normal than the guys in the churchlife...
Enough of hah-hao xian-sheng. I'll try my best to just see him as a colleague and friend. Any nice-ness or jokes I shall take it as just being him. Even if it seems he's being really nice or sweet to me, I must remember it's all out of his goodwill and kindness. NOTHING ELSE.
Sigh. I'm such a love-fool.
// posted by superlambanana @ 10:56 AM 
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