Monday, January 15, 2007
Petition
All things work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose - Romans 8:28
I believe in God, and what He says. I believe in this verse. But it is hard to reconcile my belief & my state of shock at this moment, after finding out that E's mother went to be with the Lord in the recent weekend. She was involved in an accident involving 5 cars and a bus.
I didn't think it was fair. It's so cruel, so random & just terribly unsettling. Why does this have to happen? Why does it have to happen to E? It's not fair... he hasn't seen her for a year & just a couple of months more, he'll be back with her. Why take her away from him now? When he's trying to make good use of his time to study, when he's finished the 2 years of training, why can't he go back and be reunited with his mother? Why can't the mother have a chance to see the transformation in her son, and hear what he has enjoyed in the training, and be taken care of by him? They were close, and E loved his mother a lot. So many whys, but the answer is still Romans 8:28.
The sudden nature of it all, plus it being an accident makes it all the more tragic. I can't help but have some sense of hatred for the bus driver, who because of his drowsiness, took away 10 lives. What kind of logic is this? Grief turns to anger... need an outlet to just find out WHY.
Thinking about the box of snacks E showed me just a month before training ended really hurts. That was probably the last box he received from his mother. E told me often about his plans after training... what he wants to do, where he is going... but he always added that those were his plans; God can always wreck and change his plans. Probably he'll go ahead with them anyway, and yes it's gonna hurt, but he'll get through it. I don't know whether he will still remember what he said in this time. But I realized with some fear that anything can happen in our lives, and it's all for us to be gained for God's economy. In my puny mind, I just cannot fathom how this is to be, but I guess it can only be for the best. Our human concept of things is just way too off from what God is...
T said God really wants to gain E, looking at the harsh things that he had gone through in his life. I believe that, and I pray in faith that God would really gain E in a deeper way through this dark period.
E, I really pray that God would strengthen you into your inner man, grant you much grace & comfort in this time, be with you in your time of grief & pain, and fill you with a living hope of glory. Death is not the end, and the saints are praying for you & your family. May our petitions & prayers wash over you & supply you bountifully in the spirit of Jesus Christ. Keep open to Him & believe that this will work out for good.
// posted by superlambanana @ 10:57 AM 
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